Joke of the Day
+4
Sakyia
Molie
Grevender
Danu
8 posters
Page 1 of 1
Joke of the Day
Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what...
Metal,
Wood,
Stone,
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,
'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands,
she will be cured.'
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.
The next day, he held a competition. Any man who could bring his daughter
an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king’s wealth...
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red .
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince's pants?
M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking??
I WORRY ABOUT YOU SOMETIMES!!!!
Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what...
Metal,
Wood,
Stone,
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,
'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands,
she will be cured.'
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.
The next day, he held a competition. Any man who could bring his daughter
an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king’s wealth...
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red .
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince's pants?
M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
The king had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what...
Metal,
Wood,
Stone,
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,
'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands,
she will be cured.'
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.
The next day, he held a competition. Any man who could bring his daughter
an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king’s wealth...
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red .
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince's pants?
M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking??
I WORRY ABOUT YOU SOMETIMES!!!!
Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS.
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what...
Metal,
Wood,
Stone,
Anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,
'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands,
she will be cured.'
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.
The next day, he held a competition. Any man who could bring his daughter
an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king’s wealth...
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red .
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.
Question: What was in the prince's pants?
M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
Danu- Posts : 215
Join date : 2009-07-27
Re: Joke of the Day
I thought he had chuck norris...
Grevender- Posts : 5313
Join date : 2009-04-18
Age : 45
Location : Mafialand
Re: Joke of the Day
Molie wrote:I lol'ed
Weird Frenchman
Sakyia- Admin
- Posts : 928
Join date : 2008-10-20
Location : Bay Area, CA
Re: Joke of the Day
gimme glead saky
Molie- Posts : 1037
Join date : 2009-11-11
Age : 108
Location : France
Re: Joke of the Day
Grev tried the same thing on me, but there weren't M&M's in his pocket
feng- Posts : 651
Join date : 2010-08-16
Age : 38
Location : US
Re: Joke of the Day
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Danu- Posts : 215
Join date : 2009-07-27
Re: Joke of the Day
wont u b a huney n repost this just so its not getting trimmed on the side?
Eoin- Posts : 401
Join date : 2008-03-22
Location : WindCity
Re: Joke of the Day
then u should hurry up n come play rappelz again.
Eoin- Posts : 401
Join date : 2008-03-22
Location : WindCity
Re: Joke of the Day
A man is walking behind his wife and says,
"Baby, your arse is getting so fat, it's looking like a washing machine."
The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking.
Bedtime comes around, the man is asking for sex.
The woman says:
"I'm not starting the washing machine for such a small load.
You'll have to do it by hand !"
"Baby, your arse is getting so fat, it's looking like a washing machine."
The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking.
Bedtime comes around, the man is asking for sex.
The woman says:
"I'm not starting the washing machine for such a small load.
You'll have to do it by hand !"
Danu- Posts : 215
Join date : 2009-07-27
Re: Joke of the Day
then the man ask for a handjob right? right?
and let there b lube
and definitely gotta b a bukkake after that.
and let there b lube
and definitely gotta b a bukkake after that.
Eoin- Posts : 401
Join date : 2008-03-22
Location : WindCity
Re: Joke of the Day
Merry Christmas To Everyone !
moeatem- Posts : 746
Join date : 2009-09-19
Age : 54
Location : Newfoundland
Old People
OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing..'
The doctor was shocked!
'You asked your neighbour?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.
'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing..'
The doctor was shocked!
'You asked your neighbour?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
Danu- Posts : 215
Join date : 2009-07-27
Re: Joke of the Day
Danu please give molie a one on one lesson on how to make better jokes. People in crappelz still suffer from his "jokes"
BakaMew- Posts : 493
Join date : 2010-07-21
Age : 32
Location : San Francisco,CA
Re: Joke of the Day
at least he trys life is to short laugh and b happy miss you all come play guild wars 2
Danu- Posts : 215
Join date : 2009-07-27
Re: Joke of the Day
Danu wrote:at least he trys life is to short laugh and b happy miss you all come play guild wars 2
miss u 2.
leave that motel gw2
come back home to crappelz
Eoin- Posts : 401
Join date : 2008-03-22
Location : WindCity
They walk among us
They Walk Among Us!
----------------------------
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
They walk amongst us!
-------------------------------------
*One day I was walking down the beach with
Some friends when someone shouted.....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
They walk among us!
----------------------------------------------------------
While looking at a house, my brother asked the
Estate agent which direction was north because
He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
And has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'
They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------------------------
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving'.
They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
They Walk Among Us!
-------------------------------------------------
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
They walk amongst us!
-------------------------------------
*One day I was walking down the beach with
Some friends when someone shouted.....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
They walk among us!
----------------------------------------------------------
While looking at a house, my brother asked the
Estate agent which direction was north because
He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
And has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'
They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------------------------
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
when we overheard an admin girl talking about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving'.
They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
They Walk Among Us!
-------------------------------------------------
Danu- Posts : 215
Join date : 2009-07-27
Re: Joke of the Day
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)
They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------------------
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and
said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)
They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------------------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.
They Walk Among Us!
And last, but not least:
[size=48]Dumb as a box of Rocks
TRUE STORY:
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track..'
'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
Sadly, they walk among us![/size]
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6 pieces.
They Walk Among Us!
And last, but not least:
[size=48]Dumb as a box of Rocks
TRUE STORY:
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track..'
'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
Sadly, they walk among us![/size]
Danu- Posts : 215
Join date : 2009-07-27
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