iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

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Just For FUN

Post  Danu on Fri Jun 15, 2012 9:04 pm

INSTALLING HUSBAND !
A woman writes to the IT Technical support.....

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Husband 1.0uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0and CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
_______ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ______
___ _______
REPLY

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while arkred[color=green]]Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: I thoughtyoulovedme. htmland try to downloadTears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT in any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software
to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0and Good Looks 7.7.

Good Luck !
Smile
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Staues

Post  Danu on Fri Jun 29, 2012 11:10 pm














>>> There are two statues in a park. One of a nude man and one of a nude
>>> woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred
>>> years when one day an angel comes down from the sky and with a single
>>> gesture, brings the two to life.
>>>
>>> The angel tells them: "As a reward for being so patient through a
>>> hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life
>>> for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most."
>>> He looks at her, she looks at him and they go running behind the
>>> shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and
>>> giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath
>>> and laughing.
>>>
>>> The angel tells them, "Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you
>>> care to do it again?"
>>> He asks her "Shall we?"
>>> She eagerly replies, "Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions.
>>> This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and YOU shit on its head."
>>>
>>>
>>> -----------AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  DoomsDaySlave on Sat Jun 30, 2012 8:00 am

seems like your keyboard love you Very Happy these are nice examples of what men shouldn't do and what happend after you get married (most of the cases) and the last one is cute Very Happy

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  DoomsDaySlave on Sat Jun 30, 2012 8:09 am

i prolly will destroy this joke since it's been told to me by one of my friends' father while we study to control (subject in electricity)

just to put some sense into the joke the main thing about this subject is you can't have any poles (north or south) in the right side of the plane (the geometric one), that means the system will be unblanced and couldn't be controlled.

so here it goes:

a usual flight took place from a country to the other on the aircraft with some plolish people abord it.

at some point the aircraft crashed down, the flight company send an investigator to search for clues what happend on that flight.

on his report the investigator worte :"a simple case of 2 many poles on the right side of the plane".

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THE perfect Password

Post  Danu on Sat Jul 28, 2012 7:58 pm

.If you don't laugh at this you better get someone to call a doctor
Coz your funny bone needs retuning.


A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was
Entering by stating each letter out loud as he typed:
P...E...N...I....S
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

***]PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH ****[/color]
[/color]
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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Grevender on Sun Jul 29, 2012 4:26 am

danu... *facepalm*

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Danu on Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:36 pm

I thou rt it was funny greve didn't you ? Very Happy
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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  DoomsDaySlave on Mon Jul 30, 2012 2:16 am

i think grev encounter that massage on his own but not with the comp if you catch my drift 0.o

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  g12x on Tue Jul 31, 2012 3:33 am

DoomsDaySlave wrote:i think grev encounter that massage on his own but not with the comp if you catch my drift 0.o

LOL he prob did xD
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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  moeatem on Tue Jul 31, 2012 8:23 am

oh well,theres always pizza!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The Bridge

Post  Danu on Thu Aug 23, 2012 8:39 pm

The Bridge
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish..'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?







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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  DoomsDaySlave on Fri Aug 24, 2012 7:38 am

loool +1 danu nice twist on an oldy Very Happy

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Danu on Sat Aug 25, 2012 3:24 am

glad i made you smile
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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  DoomsDaySlave on Sun Aug 26, 2012 7:15 pm

sure did and i need that laugh ;D

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Grevender on Tue Aug 28, 2012 11:45 am

always fascinating...

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Linra on Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:59 am

Even god has his limits ya.
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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Grevender on Thu Aug 30, 2012 4:04 pm

Linra wrote:Even god has his limits ya.
I actually have not, but it's cool to have you speculating

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Linra on Fri Aug 31, 2012 8:50 am

Grevender wrote:
Linra wrote:Even god has his limits ya.
I actually have not, but it's cool to have you speculating
So with other words u want to tell me u are Chuck Norris.
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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Grevender on Fri Aug 31, 2012 8:53 am

Linra wrote:
Grevender wrote:
Linra wrote:Even god has his limits ya.
I actually have not, but it's cool to have you speculating
So with other words u want to tell me u are Chuck Norris.
you should totally go and watch Expendables 2

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Linra on Fri Aug 31, 2012 9:03 am

Grevender wrote:
Linra wrote:
Grevender wrote:
Linra wrote:Even god has his limits ya.
I actually have not, but it's cool to have you speculating
So with other words u want to tell me u are Chuck Norris.
you should totally go and watch Expendables 2
I did and i fell asleep of all the slow moving old people that play in it.
Its like watching a fist fight between 2 people that both have no hands.
IT MAKES NO SENSEE!!!!! QQ
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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  feng on Sat Sep 01, 2012 2:43 am

Linra wrote:
Grevender wrote:
Linra wrote:
Grevender wrote:
Linra wrote:Even god has his limits ya.
I actually have not, but it's cool to have you speculating
So with other words u want to tell me u are Chuck Norris.
you should totally go and watch Expendables 2
I did and i fell asleep of all the slow moving old people that play in it.
Its like watching a fist fight between 2 people that both have no hands.
IT MAKES NO SENSEE!!!!! QQ

So you're saying it's like watching trees die?

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Grevender on Sat Sep 01, 2012 4:03 pm

Linra wrote:I did and i fell asleep
I see, your tastes are still primitive. I believe in your potential 'tho, you will somehow improve.

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Eoin on Sat Sep 01, 2012 8:05 pm

Grevender wrote:
Linra wrote:I did and i fell asleep
I see, your tastes are still primitive. I believe in your potential 'tho, you will somehow improve.

i hope not
if she improves n turn into another grev
that would b horrible
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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Grevender on Sun Sep 02, 2012 6:41 am

Eoin wrote:
i hope not
if she improves n turn into another grev
that would b horrible
why? we would have so much fun... What a Face

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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

Post  Linra on Sun Sep 02, 2012 8:51 am

Grevender wrote:
Eoin wrote:
i hope not
if she improves n turn into another grev
that would b horrible
why? we would have so much fun... What a Face
Perv
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Re: iTALIAN wOMEN are tough

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